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How To Propose To A Woman

In this episode of Les Talk About it Sheena and Tamara are discussing how to propose to a woman. The right way to propose and the wrong way.

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How To Propose To A Woman

Episode 62 of 70

Les Talk About It Series: Being Lesbian

In this long running series we look at busting myths, representation, groundbreaking info and representation that matters.

About The Hosts

Sheena comes from a media background and in 2014 she started The Lesbian Review, a website dedicated to reviewing the best lesbian books and movies. In 2016 A podcast channel seemed like a natural progression and so she started The Lesbian Talkshow.

Sheena discovered lesbian fiction in her late teens and it helped her with her coming out process, something for which she will always be grateful.

Tamara is a marketing professional and has branched out into design and photography. Her natural love for research and learning meant that she was the perfect podcast partner when Sheena wanted to start Les Talk About It. (Well, that and the fact that Tamara is married to Sheena.)


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welcome to let’s talk about it I’m Sheena and I’m Tamara and today we are talking about how to propose to a woman. On bended knee? Sure. Well let’s start with the first step okay so we found an article which gives you 5 steps to proposing to a woman so let’s see if they actually know what they’re talking about so step number one is to make sure that you’re both ready for marriage so very subtly you ask the woman you want to marry hey are you ready for marriage and hope that she doesn’t get an inkling that you’re about to compose or at least kind of proposal right?

Ok, well my problem with this question is that it’s obviously written by someone who’s not a lesbian because what’s the first rule of Lesbian Club? U-haul! Marriage isn’t so far from that.

Now that it’s legal in most of the world I suspect the u-haul is gonna be replaced by the diamond ring.

Diamonds are so lovely.

Yes. Right, so okay. So you need to ask yourself if you absolutely can’t live without this girl and basically, you need to establish that the both of you are ready for marriage but you’re at its very end Lisbon of them.

Okay but in all seriousness I think this is an important step to take because I think some people are sometimes too quick to get married.

Especially lesbians.

So make sure that you are both in it for a long haul and if you have been together two weeks you’re probably not ready.

Is this why way you made me wait a year before you said yes?


Sheena is a lesbian through and through.

Yeah, I wanted to u-haul pretty much like day one.

It’s your lesbian DNA!

I do I do. But I neer denied that.

Yeah okay then the next step, which seems a little odd but the next step is to pick a ring okay but that seems kind of like cart before the horse because I don’t know about you but I don’t know if I’d want to spend all that money on a ring if she may say no.

Well the whole thing is that you’re going to propose and you have the ring right there to give to her.

I suppose but what if she doesn’t like the ring?

Well then go get your money back or go together and choose a ring but the thing is if you’re together and you’re ready to get married, because you’ve established this, Surely you should know more or less what she likes. Maybe start a Pinterest board where you’re posting jewelry and you get her opinion on the jewelry and see if she likes it.

That’s true. Having said all of this though, I pretty much just went out and bought you a ring.

You did. I like my ring.

Okay so you get ring, and you get a nice ring and it’s a pretty ring. The next step is to pick the right time.

Three o’clock on a Thursday that’s the right time.

Now the next next point is to pick the right location. So it’s three o’clock the time has come it’s Thursday. You’ve finally hit the the time and you’re sweating because you just don’t know where to go to proposed.

The zoo.

So in front of the monkey cage?

No because they might steal it.

Okay in front of the lions. Why the lions?

Because it’s romantic. Think about the Lion King and the song which was a song in the jungle. You know the one where they are very obviously gonna have sex but it’s a Disney movie so you can’t say that they are having sex.

I don’t know what Lion King movie you watched??? Ok so basically they say you need to pick a private location. Don’t embarrass your girl by proposing somewhere public like sporting events big parties and that kind of thing and the reason they say this is it puts a lot of pressure on the girl to say yes.

Yeah but there’s nothing like a giant TV in the stadium where everyone’s looking at it with your picture streamed onto it as you propose. What’s the pressure in that?

So that’s what I did wrong. It was all too private. I should big. That wouldn’t mean you say yes.

I’m telling you lions.

What is with you in lions?

I’m African baby, rar.

Oh my gosh. And then the fifth step is asked the right way. So be simple tell her how lucky you are that you found her, all that sort of stuff. Be creative, be honest and don’t overdo it. So now you have to…wow this is a lot of pressure on the asking person because you have to be creative and honest and simple and not overdo it.

So you have to go like this, baby I love you marry me?


See simple!

That was so romantic.

You are so easy. So that’s ladies and some boys is how you ask the girl to marry you.

Yeah I think there’s some valid points on it.

I do. And I think some of the hilarious but I think they all come from a sensible place. You shouldn’t get married unless you’re ready to get married and both of you are ready to get married. And something that they left out is I think you have to have a lot of very deep conversations before you do so. Like where do you stand on children, where you live,  your career priorities.

The poor children, why would you stand on them? Like if you stand on children then where would you want to do that anyway? I mean somewhere soft so the poor child doesn’t die.

I was think ing somethign more like grape stamping.

This is obviously conversation we did not have before marriage.

I understand why people struggle to learn English with things like where you stand on children – like can you imagine trying to learn the language and somebody says where you stand on children – like why would I stand on a child?


Indeed. Alright, so,

Make sure that you both have the same expectations of the relationship. And marriage is a partnership you know. It’s something that’s not always easy. So if the relationship isn’t like fantastic, to begin with it’s not gonna get better with marriage.

Make pancakes.

Yes, make pancakes, make chocolate muffins.

And try not stand on the children. Okay I’m Sheena and I’m Tamara and as you can hear we are a married couple.